Might as well get rid of the mirrors... we don't USE them anyway!

I went to lunch with friends today after taking a trip to the Chiropractors and spending an hour at the park with my girls. Lots of people saw me before I went to lunch, some of them were people I consider friends. None of them noticed or at least told me. Noticed what? you may ask. So I’m standing there when I realize there is something odd against the edge of my shirt and look down to see what I think is a sticker. Not an uncommon thing to have a sticker stuck to me… Lily loves “kickers” and sticks them to anything she can. The dog often is found wandering around with a confused look on her face, stickers tucked into her collar or adorning her sweet fuzzy head. But this has nothing to do with the dog. Upon closer examination, however, I realized this supposed sticker was really the tag for my shirt. My shirt that I was wearing in-side-out. ALL DAY.

Did you know I’m a mom?

If you didn’t already know this, you do now. Only moms and crazy scientist wander around all day in clothing that is in-side-out or backwards. Most other people stop and LOOK at themselves before leaving the house. I might have looked at myself in a mirror if only my morning hadn’t been so chaotic. We were running late for the chiropractors when, as I was hustling Lily out the door, she hunkered down, grinned and said, “I poop!”
“Do you have poop in your pants, kido?”
“No.” And she smiles sweetly as though that stink must be coming from somewhere else. Then she made me wrestle her ass to the ground to change the foul thing. I finally got everyone clean and in the car and was just about to drive away when Anya started hollering like the devil was smacking her ass and calling her Georgia. I tried the power of the binky on her, a little voodoo and singing louder than her, but she wasn’t having any of it. Her poor little face was turning even redder than her normal ruddy complexion and she sounded like her world was ending. So I got out of the car, came around to the back, whipped out a boob and without extracting her from the car seat, popped it in her mouth. This is one of the advantages to having huge knockers. That and being able to kill at 30 paces.

SO IS IT ANY WONDER THAT MY CLOTHES WERE ON WRONG?

At least I burst into laughter (and not tears) at the restaurant when I figured it out and shared with the group. We all had a good chuckle before I skipped off to the bathroom to right myself. And despite what you may think, I’m feeling fine about my day. I’m getting stuff done and both the girls are sleeping right now, so I’m getting to blog. Life is good folks, and damn funny when you let it!

Stay tuned for more “One Happy Family” hilarity, right after this word from our sponsor.

P.S. OK, so I still haven’t gotten photos together for the thing to which I alluded yesterday. You shall all have to suffer a bit longer as I refuse to give you the half story. This thing is freaking beautiful and must have photos accompanying. Just be patient… it’s a virtue and all that.