I don’t have many opportunities these days to hang out with my girlfriends, but Alora and her family came into town for a visit and so the old gang got together the other night. I left Lily with Mark but brought my little nursling with me and we all met up at Mellissa and Vikki’s. Mellissa is going through a divorce and dealing with all the fun that goes with it while living most of her time up with her new partner up in the Napa area of California. Their divorce is in some ways very complicated and in others frighteningly easy but the bottom line is they are working out the details with astonishing aplomb. Our talk that evening was about our children, our partners, housekeeping… GAH! Housekeeping? Yes, and it was a rawking good topic too, so bite your tongue! At one point Mellissa pointed out what we were discussing and we all had a good laugh when you consider what our topics used to be those of a twenty something singleton (or newlywed in my case).
We did make a trip into the body image realm, focusing on how Mellissa divorce has made her shed weight and my pregnancy has made me gain it. Lucky for me, Mellissa and I are the same body type (she’s my cousin, btw) and she looked at my three-month post-partum body and knew exactly what size I was wearing and gave me a good idea of the path my body would likely take over the next year or so. Her kids are three years apart and so she told me what weaning had done for her weight loss, something I didn’t get to experience with Lily because she was still nursing during my pregnancy with Anya. She pointed out that I would likely be the same size I am right now until Anya is about a year old and can I just tell you that it was actually a relief to hear? I’ve been living with this vague sense of stagnation: don’t buy new clothes, you’ll be loosing weight soon; you better start thinking about dieting, etc. So I was walking around in clothing either too big or too small hating my image in the mirror and feeling horribly guilty about the food I was consuming (despite the fact that I know you need more calories while nursing). With her gentle predictions, I was able to let it go. This is the body I get to live with for now and I might as well enjoy it. She told me I really should make a trip up to where she lives and works in Harbin as the people there absolutely adore the body of a pregnant or nursing mom. “I know people tell me I look hot with my body this thin,” she told me, “but you… you look so sexy. You’ve got something going ON with those amazing curves.”
You see, my friends. THIS is why I like girl time. Men think they need to fix you. Women – those who are close friends anyway – just take one look at your post-partum body and make you feel like a goddess.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going shopping. And I just might stop for a BIG lunch, too!
