Serenity now!

Watching an infant sleep is one of those things that fills a mothers heart with warm fuzzy bunny love. Unless that infant has a hacking cough and is so full of snot she can barely breathe. Then watching that infant sleep is an exercise is terror. Luckily, most of the time she sleeps alright; it’s more an episodic issue. Suddenly, she’ll wake and start struggling, little arms flailing and chest sucking in air desperately. I sat next to the tub for the better part of an hour at 1am, hoping the steam from the shower would help loosen the mucus and help her breathe. The little bulb sucker thingie is getting some good use too and boy if that isn’t fun!

Nursing isn’t all warm fuzzy bunny love these days either. See, a baby needs to be able to breathe pretty much all the time (go figure). Every time she closes her mouth to latch, the snot factory in her nose cuts her air off and so she has to nurse in gasping bits. My milk is all worked up and attempting to feed her from 50 paces… not so good when she’s actually right there and choking on the insane flow. A good friend suggested I pump first but Anya is nursing all the time so asking her to hold on while I pump… I just can’t see that working for us.

The thing that really pisses me off is that this is the second time she’s been sick and she’s not yet two-months-old. Having an older sister is proving to be a real bitch for my baby girl. Imagine the fun if Lily were in daycare!

I am ready and willing to accept wellness in my family now. Seriously, I’m waiting.