It's October, the time of the harvest and this week at Medicine Lodge, we talked about what we are harvesting this year and what we are setting aside. I realized that one of the things I needed to put aside is the idea that we're just looking for a place to live; were actually looking for a HOME (yes, in all caps). Here's what I wrote about it in ML:

I am creating a home for my family. A HOME. A place that is not transient, a place for us to settle. This is my Harvest. A Home. We have laid the foundation, we have built a frame. We are ready to call Home.

I see the garden, the goat pulling a weeds while the chickens peck at seeds. I see Lily running across the yard, sunlight in her hair and that brilliant smile across her perfect face.

I see Mark in his shop, glancing out at our daughter from time to time, bending down to her as she excitingly shows him a caterpillar, or leaf or exquisite blade of grass. I see great meals, cooked by my hand with our own vegetables and eggs our chickens have gifted us, stirring in the sweet goats milk.

I see incredible love as Mark and I create another child and birth him in the space where he was conceived.

I see showers with Lily crawling around at my feet, soaking in the warm soapy water that slides off my back, my hair, my breasts.

I see family dinners, full of laughter and debate, where our children eagerly tell us of their day while eating good whole dinners I have created for them.

I see Maya running across the grass, barking at the chickens as the fearlessly peck at her in annoyance.

I see Millie sitting in a window, methodically cleaning herself the way cats do, stopping to watch a hummingbird pull nectar from a nearby flower.

I see my amazing family
living in a HOME
a special place
with wonderful neighbors.
Strong trees.
Fruitful trees.
Overflowing garden.
Thriving family.
Growing children.
Happiness and peace.
a home
A Home
A HOME.