Late yesterday I noticed Anya had a bit of a runny nose. By bedtime she was a mess and just pissed enough to tell me all about it. She’s all stuffed up and snotty and just really having a hard time. Luckily I got her to sleep long enough for me to go corral Lily who, despite the fact that she had gone to bed an hour ago, was still running around in circles and changing her clothes every three seconds. I lay down with her for a bit, talking softly and then told her I was going to go check on Anya and come back in a while. She finally fell asleep waiting for me and, unlike last night, had no nightmares or pee accidents. Anya ended up sleeping on my chest as I sat up all night… it was the only way she could breathe. I am so tired and the house is so cold and all I want to do is throw things at the wall while making an evil noise. I’m seriously considering calling my girlfriend who is a nanny and begging her to come over for an hour or two so I can take a nap. She probably won’t be able to do it and I’m afraid that if I ask and she says no I’m going to start bawling. Sometimes the threat of being rejected is harder than just living through a difficult day.
I keep telling Lily not to touch Anya, ‘cause she sick. So now Lily is wondering around the living room repeating, “I want sick! Sick sick sick!” Little freak.
On Tuesday’s we go to story time at the Library and then get lunch at Ikea. Can I handle it? Should I go with a sick baby? Will I go insane if we stay here all day? Can I make a single decision on my own today? I want my husband to come home. I want to be less depressing. Waaaaaaaaaaa!
