I’ve made a rather horrifying discovery about myself today.

You know that smile, the polite one you give a co-worker in the hallway at work or to a total stranger as you stroll through the park? It’s supposed to say, “Hi! Hope you’re having a pleasant day and I acknowledge you!” I caught a glimpse of mine today and it didn’t say that.

Nope.

It said, “HI! I’m damaged and would like to stalk you! Will you be my mother?”

I would post a photo of me doing the face but then my readership truly would become non-existent and well, I’m needy and can’t cope with that possibility.

Why hasn’t anyone pointed this out to me? I mean, it probably would have made me ball up in a corner and rock back-in-forth in shame, but COME ON, PEOPLE! I’ve been frightening small children with that evil little grin turned grimace turn PSYCHO KILLER, qu'est que c'est (ba ba ba baaah, ba ba baaaah ba ba ba, baba).

I’m off to stare at my image in the mirror and try to come up with something less threatening.