She has her own room : (

I found it so hard when she showed signs of wanting to be alone... wanted her with me, even if I found it difficult. But when it was hard for her, when she wasn't sleeping and would sleep great without us, I had to accept that her agenda was different from mine. This child of mine is so fiercely independent, I wish she'd "need" me more. She's only one and won't allow me to hold her hand while she walks or won't let me carry her on my hip in a store. She uses me as a home base, touching in as she plays, asking to nurse often... yet she is so determined to be on her own. Scares me a little, amazes me even more. Does she get this insane confidence from the year we spent sleeping with her tucked in between us? Is it just in her nature? Is this why I am already yearning for another baby?

I have found that having a child has changed me so completely... surprised me in ways I could never have imagined. She has asked so much of me and yet so often asks me to do so little. I am so blessed to have her in my life and even though she now wants to sleep alone, our bed will always be open to her. I hope she finds it a place of warmth, safety, comfort... a place for whispers and secrets and cuddling up to her mama and daddy. I hope that I will always feel good about our choices, even if they scare the heck outta me!