Some more lactivist political humor: Hathor the Cowgoddess.

what sleep deprivation will do to you...
or
running with scissors...

So, I'm tired... Lily's been sick, as have Mark and myself... sleep has been challenging, to say the least. Also feeling a little cabin fever... even when I do get out, I'm limited by what I can do because there is this little binken attached to me. Today, at Costco, we were looking for a new beard trimmer for my husband when we came across a little haircut kit. Had a shaver in it and was a great price, so we bought it.

I have long curly hair. It's my biggest asset (as far as purely physical stuff goes) and Mark LOVES it. Today, I pulled out the neat little scissors from the kit and well, cut it. I don't have a clue why I did it or what the plan was. It's got these strange layers in it... thank goddess for the curl as it kinda covers up the job I did. I didn't go too insane... it's not super short or anything, but it's noticeable to those who know me. Maybe I did it so I'd HAVE to go have it professionally done. Maybe I'm going slowly insane. Maybe I just really need a nap.

Part of me thinks that when a change is needed, it happens. Even if it happens in such a way that you are suddenly looking at a pile of hair on the bathroom floor. I don't actually regret this... find it humorous, more than anything else. Mark just smiled and told me to cut it all if I want too... he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. Maybe that's what I needed to hear. Maybe it's my guides saying "Hey, let's see if she's listening"... although it felt more like it happened before I really knew it. Ah well, it's just hair.

So our Lily is sick. She's had a fever since Wednesday (the 17th) and we've seen some vomit, lots of snot, the fussiest little pout you ever did see, and mostly the back of her as she sleeps sleeps sleeps sleeps! Babies are so much smarter than us adults. Lily gets sick so she goes to sleep. Period. She doesn't try to get the laundry done, wash dishes, wrap presents, grocery's, etc. Granted, she has people for such tasks. Mark and I are also not so well... and thus, we've been bastards to each other. Something about taking care of a sick baby while sick yourself... that'll put a strain on a marriage! We had a good talk last night while Lily slept against my chest. No worries.

We took Lil to an acupuncturist on Friday night and saw an amazing turn around. But then, with Mark's brother here for a visit, we spent too much time out and about on Saturday and she got sick again. So, we go back today for some more needling. She doesn't even notice them, which isn't surprising when you look at how thin they are and how briefly they stay in. Julie just inserts the needle, stimulates it, and out it comes. Hoping it will help again and she'll be a little less miserable. I'm missing her smile.

Love this site:A Magical Childhood. It has some wonderful ideas such as Monkey Hugs, Happy Buttons, etc and all sorts of other things to do to make your child's life magical, whimsical, and wonderful. For instance, she talks about writing your child a letter telling them why you love them. Got me thinking about my little Lil and what, specifically, I love about this child.

She has the most amazing smile I have ever seen.

She lights up when she looks at me or Mark.

She starts giggling before you zer-bert her.

I love the way she touches my face when nursing.

She waves at people.

She's simply the most wonderful person I have ever held in my arms.

I could go on for days and I so look forward to getting to know her, what she thinks about the sky at night, the sound of her voice when she says "I Love You". As much as I love each moment of her life, I can't wait for each NEW moment. I'm so in love and watching her be sick is so hard. I just want her to always know how very much she is loved... every second of everyday. Besides, I need something to hold onto when she's 16 and decides to rebel...

Yesterday, Lily woke up looking a little shiny eyes... she felt a little warm, but not too hot. Took her to my moms so I could go unpack the new office and she slept a lot, then threw up once after eating. Mark brought her home and we took her temp. About 103. Then two more episodes of vomiting (not spit up, vomit... really not fun). She slept fitfully, needed lots of personal time with Momma, Daddy isn't enough. I'm tired.

Anyway, if you want something to really make you laugh, check this out: Alora and read the entry for December 15. Almost peed myself.

Back to bed.

Lily is having a rough day.

She spends about 30 minutes crawling around (in her half assed, downward-dog kinda way), complaining and grunting all the time, then finally breaking down into dramatic tears, her whole body racked with sobs. So, I go get her, cuddle her for a while as she sucks her thumb and whimpers pathetically, sometimes needing nursing, and either falls asleep or decides that she's ready to play again, and it starts all over.

She's slept more today then she has in a long time and, as a result, we're not going to get the groceries done today. Ah well, these things are not as important as learning how to crawl. At least the laundry is getting done! Yea!

Anyway, my girly is getting frustrated again and so I'm off to give mommy comfort...

We're supposed to be at a LLL meeting today, but Lily crashed out right after Daddy left for work and has been snoozing peacefully ever since. She's still getting over her cold, so I thought it best to just let her sleep. Ah well, we'll still go have lunch with Dad.

Talked to Jen today about her three-week-old Ian. She had questions about diapers, colic, etc and low-and-behold, I had answers. It feels good to be able to take my last six months and make it help someone else.

Yesterday we attended two birthday parties, one for her Uncle Chris and one for Collin and Mark. Lot's of fun watching her chase a water bottle all over the floor while Sarah showed off her fabulous crawling ability and swooped in to get the bottle first. She's almost to that level... just a month or so and she and Sarah will be crawling heats! Baby wrestling is fun too! Gotta go get the girly, she's calling for her momma.

Lily has figured out the joy of raspberries... not the kind you eat, but the kind that make a big wet mess and cause giggles. She's not very good at them yet, but she's defiantly working on it.

She's had a very clingy day. I suspect incoming teeth, but we've been suspecting that since she was three-months-old. Ah well, it could be a while... might as well get comfy. Right now she's eating some toys after having a bath and some naked time with Daddy. Babies really seem to enjoy naked time... at least this one does. She rolled around on the carpet flapping her arms and legs and going "ah ha!"

We went to Windmill Farms today and got a load of groceries. We used Lily's new Ultimate Baby Wrap and she spent most of the time reaching up to touch my mouth. She'd be all nice and soft hands until, out of the blue, she'd suddenly grab my lips and attempt to rip them off. Now that's good stuff. She got her usual ration of attention and got to do some serious flirting with a bag boy. She sure likes boys...

Anyway, am enjoying this bit of time while Mark has the binken. Must go eat something sweet to celebrate!

Lily is trying her hardest to crawl. She gets up on all fours and rocks and complains and squiggles and falls to her belly to wave her arms and legs. Sometimes she pushes up with her legs and does this kinda walk forward thing... very cumbersome. She gets so frustrated. Nice thing is, she can get around a bit as is, she'll roll and rock and sit and wiggle. SO ACTIVE! all the time. She's so busy with her toys and studies them so intently. So much going on in that little brain of hers.

Working is going really well for me. I am enjoying the time to focus on something non-baby. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being with Lily, but it is really good to put my brain in another space. It's taking some doing to get back into the swing of things, it's like I just don't think as quickly as I used to! I'll get there... but part of me will always be thinking about that little girl. Ah parenthood, it changes EVERYTHING!