Where'd the num-nums go?

With two weeks of back-to-work for me and no nursing during the day for Lily, things are making a change. The biggest (ha ha), most noticeable change is the obvious decrease in the size of the num-nums. I no longer can fill out the nursing bras and am back into my pre-pregnancy ones. Not as convenient to nurse in, but I have a feeling that's not going to be an issue much longer. Yep, she's starting to wean. Makes me kinda sad and kinda happy. Monkey nursing makes me annoyed and tender and it'll be nice to not have her pawing at me and checking out the num-nums all the time. And the nursing sessions from 5am to 7am just suck (ha again!) and keep me tired. But, when she's earnestly nursing - thus, settled down and calm - I just love the closeness and connection. It's a great way to check in with each other and just have some quiet time together.

Mark brought her by the Globe in the middle of the day last week and she didn't even ask to nurse! SO, I guess she's adjusting well. I really wanted to nurse until she was at least two and she may stick with it until then. But her dependence on me is over. Daddy can totally fulfill her needs now and that makes my life easier... just a little sad. Silly mommy.

Anyway, there is a TON more I should write but I'm tired. Say good night!

New Shoes and Bathtub Play

Haven't had time/energy to post. Lily is saying "Hi" now and actually at the appropriate time. She's getting frustrated at times, babbling away at us and not understanding why we don't get what she's saying. After all, as far as she knows, she's being completely clear! Poor boo.

She has her first pair of hard soled shoes - a cute little pair of sandals - and is enjoying clumping around in them and demanding that we put them on at any moment where she realizes her feet are bare. If they're not on her feet, well then they should be thrown immediately into the wading pool! With a Huzzah! if it can be managed.

Found her in the tub the other day, happily playing. Can't figure out how she managed to get into the darn thing without bonking her head. We suspect the dog.

Hmmm, what else? Lily learned that hitting the cat will produce disastrous results. The cat was very reserved and finally got fed up, extended one claw (I kid you not, she showed amazing restraint) and scratched Lil on the arm. She was deeply unhappy about that, but I haven't caught her hitting the cat again.

My new job is going well... it's been a hard adjustment, but I still feel like we all made the right choice.

Bedtime. Maybe I'll be able to update again later.

More on the big shift

Since becoming parents Mark and I have been mulling over the best arrangement for rearing our child[ren] so that we can make enough money to cover our nut AND be the ones actively parenting our child[ren]. While we understand why some parents put their children in daycare, it wasn't what we wanted for ours and so, I have been primarily the stay-at-home-parent since Lily's birth. Grandma Jan has been an amazing help, taking Lil two afternoons a week so I could work part time, but it was somehow still not an ideal situation for us.

Two and a half weeks into our recent three week road trip, Mark and I had the mother of all talks. While I LOVE being Lil's mom, I am somewhat unfulfilled as a stay-at-home-parent... I love working and miss it terribly. And to be honest, I'm not thriving in the set up we have now. And Mark, who very much enjoys being a carpenter, has always wanted to have the opportunity to parent full time. As we drove through the beautiful mountains of Yosemite Park, we realized that THIS just wasn't working and we needed to make some changes.

A friend of mine (who also happens to be my former boss at the Old Globe) had been kind enough to let me know that there was a job opening she felt I'd be good for. She asked that as soon as I got home I email her my resume and so, after taking some time to update it I fired her off a copy. Within a few hours of sending it off I received a phone call from the director of Marketing and Communications, asking me if I would be available to interview the next day. They have created a new position in the box office, one that would allow me some flexibility with the schedule while still allowing me to do more than just sell a ticket. I have the opportunity to work in a position of respect, with some remarkable people and make a decent wage while I'm at it. Mark will still have to take a gig here and there, but the salary will just about cover our needs. AND it comes with benefits!

I start Monday.

SOOOO, we are jumping into a big change. Mark is thrilled to get to be with Lily so much more and I will get to care for my whole family financially. My mom (Grandma Jan) will still be helping out a couple of days a week and Mark's mom (Grandma Heidi) will be coming to stay in September while Mark works his last out of town gig for a while. We feel blessed and amazed that when we made the choice to change things, this job just jumped at me. I feel incredibly grateful that I have such an awesome husband that he wants to stay home with his beautiful daughter. I'm a little sad to be spending that much time away from Lil but excited at the new world opening up for me. It's a big shift and we know it may be a bit sticky at times. But ahhh, what a wonderful world we live in where these opportunities can present themselves.

We'll keep you posted!

Hanging out at Glacier Point with a fabulous view of Half Dome.

Catching Up

We’re back from our trip and Cousin Nate and his brood have set off to return to Chicago after a couple of days with us.

Lily is napping and it is quiet for the first time in a LONG time. What an amazing thing.

A lot has happened since last I posted and I know that Allyn will kick my ass if she reads about all this before I talk to her. But that may be the way it goes down.

First, about the trip: we had an awesome time and really enjoyed our time with family and friends. Lily didn't sleep so well with being away from home, so by the middle of our final week Mark looked over at me and quietly said "I'm done." We came home a few days early and then welcomed Nate's family for their visit. We LOVED having them here, their boys are beautiful and wonderful and so full of love. It was great for me to get to know my cousin as an adult... we shared deep conversation and discovered that we are both rather silly.

On the trip, Mark and I talked a lot about what should happen next in our lives. We discovered that we are not quite ready to have another child and that's OK. We discovered that I am not thriving as a stay at home parent and that Mark would like to his hand at it. While in Shasta I received a phone call from my former boss at The Old Globe to inform me that there was a position open that she felt I might be great for. When we arrived home I emailed her my resume and within a few hours I was scheduled for an interview the next day (Friday). I went in and interviewed and was told that they would be making their decision by the end of next week. They called me on Monday and offered me the position. The money is decent, the benefits rock and the best part is that they are totally understanding that I am not interested in working insane hours and that I reserve the right to re-evaluate in six months or so.

While nursing Lil today, I looked down at her sweet little face and her perfect little fingers and I cried at the thought of leaving her. But I know that I will be happier mama if I let her and Mark have their time together and I go back to work. I need it. I love that little girl.

Still haven't figured out what to do about breastfeeding. She's still nursing quite a bit but old enough to start trying goat milk and/or rice milk. I’m not really thrilled about the prospect of pumping… it’s stressful and difficult to fit into a busy schedule. We shall see how it goes. We will continue to nurse as much as she wants when together.

I am so proud of Mark for taking on this unconventional role. I am so thankful that he allowed me to make this decision on my own with the knowledge that it wouldn’t mean having our beautiful daughter raised by strangers.

This may be my last post for a while. With all the adjustments, I just can’t promise that I’ll stick to this. My goal was to blog for the first year of Lil’s life and I’ve already overshot that! Yippee! I’ll do my best, but hey… it’s all good.

Lots of love,
Lily’s mama